Removals Van London
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FUNNY BUT TRUE (maybe):
Removals Van London: The Dutchman Constantly Mistaken for a Removals Van Service
A man by the name of Removals Van-London has been the subject of ridicule for a number of years due to his name being a popular removals van search-word. Despite Van-London initially admitted that he found the joke funny, though, after 25 years of misunderstandings, lost furniture and being branded a ‘scumbag’, he’s simply had enough.
Van-London contacted us in order to shed light onto the life he has now been forced to lead due to his unfortunate naming. While he revealed that he’s put the past behind him, he still feels there’s an issue to be addressed here:
“I’m usually not one to complain, but the joke has gone on too long now. I can’t even walk down the street with people asking me to help them move their belongings down the road. Even my friends have jumped on the ‘Removals Van-London’ bandwagon, asking if I can carry their shopping and deliver their children.”
Van-London went onto describe how the joke now severely impacts even the smallest of tasks. He claims how he’s now forced to deliver the pints at the pub, pick everyone up from a night out, fetch the coffee at work, and go on breakfast delivery runs, despite his office having someone specifically employed to perform this very task.
“I cannot continue to live my life like this. Now I know how Corbyn feels when he’s dealing with the media, knackered.”
Van-London reveals how he now fears receiving gifts revolving around his name due to the inevitable banter. He recalls when his son bought him a gift for his birthday, and as touching as the sentiment was, he still struggles to face the public:
“My son got me a football shirt for my birthday, usually, this would be a lovely gesture. However, when the name of the back of the shirt reads ‘Van-London’ people seem to jump to conclusions and assume I can offer them an above-average removals service.”
Van-London has often been asked if he has considered a career switch into operating a removals van around his hometown, London:
“I’m sure I could make a sweet profit out of utilising my god-forsaken name. But, I feel as if that would be admitting defeat, plus, I hate moving anything, the last thing I moved was my ex-wife out of my house, and that took far longer than strictly necessary.”
Van-London did admit that he did help a friend move out from his flat once, and this may have birthed the whole joke:
“My mate Dan needed a hand moving out some stuff from his flat, so, being the good guy I am, I lent a hand…
“One thing led to another, and he created a joke Facebook page called ‘Removals Van-London’, now, people are genuinely messaging the group asking for charge rates and availability. My boss as work firmly believes I’m looking to start my own independent company, which is simply untrue. Plus, it would be incredibly deceitful and ironic, considering I work as a carpenter, so I spend most of my time fitting things, as opposed to removing them.”
Despite Van-London’s lifestyle change, he does admit that things can only get better:
“Worst case scenario, I adopt my wife’s name, Removals Surrey.”